


Tell Me the Truth

by prubun



Series: RusPru One-Shots [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22701325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prubun/pseuds/prubun
Summary: Ivan and Gilbert have been intimate with each other for a long time, and there has always been a lack of communication and emotion, but when Gilbert breaks down and can’t take it anymore, he hears the truth about how Ivan feels.
Relationships: Russia/Prussia
Series: RusPru One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1401427
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Tell Me the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted: November 1, 2014

Every little detail was burned into Ivan’s mind. Every sound, the exact positions, how Gilbert’s skin felt against his own. The only thing that blurred was how many times they’d done it, for Ivan had lost count over the years. He and Gilbert would drift away from the others once the meetings were over, find a deserted room or closet far from anyone, and have sex. There were no questions asked, no yes or no, words were rarely even spoken, they just knew. Only the sounds of their pleasure would fill their ears. Even though they both always consented to the sex, they both knew it was wrong to carry on in such a way, but they never stopped meeting in those ways. It was a part of their relationship. They weren’t dating, they didn’t call each other or make plans to meet. Only at the world meetings would they finally see each other and let all of their sexual tension out.

This day was no exception. He’d taken Gilbert to a darkened office room as he usually did, but there was something different in Gilbert’s attitude. Gilbert hadn’t spoken one word the entire meeting, not even to his brother, and once it was over he sought out Ivan and just stared at him, like he was waiting for the Russian to take him like he’d taken him so many times before. Ivan started to. He had Gilbert on a desk, lying flat on his back with the albino’s legs on either side of him. Gilbert’s pants were almost completely removed, only hanging on around one ankle, with his shoe still on that foot. His face was turned away from Ivan, even though Ivan had been kissing his cheek and jawline while he removed Gilbert’s pants. Gilbert’s face was emotionless. It was unusual. At this point in the past, Gilbert would let his lust take over and he’d blush and writhe with want. However, he looked blank, dead – like he wasn’t even there. Ivan didn’t know what to make of it, and just when he pressed the tip of his cock to Gilbert’s hole, he paused. The Russian watched Gilbert’s expression shift just slightly, it was a little more familiar, but it still wasn’t entirely right.

Ivan entered him with one slow push, burying himself deep inside. Gilbert clenched his teeth and panted, feeling his unprepared body stretch with some pain, but it didn’t stop him from craving it. Ivan leaned over the other and breathed out, matching Gilbert’s panting. It always felt so wonderful and warm inside of the albino, and he started a slow pace of thrusting in and out. Ivan felt the smaller body opening up to him more as he moved, he hit Gilbert’s prostate a few times, making him jolt, moan, and whimper. That emotion on Gilbert’s face was back to the normal one of pleasure, and they were both able to enjoy the warmth from the other.

Except, Gilbert wasn’t warm. He was cold, almost freezing. He lifted his arm up to his face, covering his eyes with his forearm. Only his gritted teeth were showing below the black sleeve of his casual suit. Ivan kept thrusting, believing that Gilbert wasn’t feeling enough pleasure, but he abruptly halted his entire body when he heard a quiet sob from the man below him.

“Gilbert?” he called to him. When he received no response, he forced Gilbert’s arm from his face, and was horrified when he found the albino with tears wetting his eyes. He immediately pulled completely out of the smaller man and began frantically wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“Gilbert? Gilbert why are you crying?” Ivan asked him. Gilbert once again offered no answer, only shaking his head in frightened protest. More tears dripped down the sides of the pale face, but Gilbert was barely making any sound. Ivan knew from how his sobs were muffled, like they were being cut off, that Gilbert was trying his absolute hardest to not cry.

Ivan gently gripped Gilbert’s shoulders, lifted him into a sitting position, and looked closer at his face. Gilbert looked so emotionally hurt and Ivan didn’t know why. It wasn’t unusual for them to be intimate, so Ivan wondered what could have happened to bring Gilbert to tears. He began to rub up and down Gilbert’s back, hoping to soothe and calm him. It surprised him when Gilbert suddenly leaned into his chest.

“I don’t want to do this anymore…” came the ragged mumble from the albino.

Confused, Ivan pulled back to look at him. “What…?”

Gilbert stared at him, eyes dead and wet with tears. He opened his mouth for a few seconds, then spoke again. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” he repeated.

Ivan took a step backward, stumbling a little as he did. For a moment he couldn’t comprehend what Gilbert had said, but once that moment was up, he silently nodded, fixed himself back into his pants, then kissed Gilbert’s cheek as a final goodbye. He let his lips linger on his skin, trying to savor the few short seconds, then left Gilbert in the room alone.

Gilbert sat on the desk for a while longer, just staring at the door. He kept saying, ‘Come back,” in his mind, but knew that Ivan wouldn’t. Eventually he slumped to the floor after putting his pants on right, leaning against the wall. A few hours passed. He spent the majority of them crying, staring blankly at the wall, and feeling completely broken.

//

During those same hours, Ivan had gone back to his room in the hotel that the meeting was held at. He barely felt like standing upright, but when he lay down, he couldn’t sleep.

He used to have such an image of Gilbert in his mind. Such wonderful images of him smiling, laughing, and dancing around like a fool as he’d do once in a while at get-togethers. Then, once his bright smile faded and the meetings were over, he’d appear in front of Ivan as if from no where, giving him that look – the look he gave when he was waiting for something. Often, Gilbert would be the one to start the intimacy. He’d start the kisses and the touching, but ultimately it was Ivan who took over and really made it what it was. Ivan once thought that maybe Gilbert was just acting in such a way to provoke him, to make it easier for Gilbert to get what he wanted without having to speak.

Ivan used to have such a wonderful image of Gilbert, more than the laughing and smiling, but hotter images as well. Ones of the pale body sweating and writhing against a wall or desk, or wherever they decided was a good place to have sex. The sounds Gilbert would make – his moans and groans. How if Ivan did say something during sex, Gilbert would only reply with a little whimper that Ivan would swallow with a kiss.

Those images had all been shattered into a million pieces, and the only one he could see was a broken Gilbert crying, and he didn’t know why. The more he thought about it the more he’d feel like crying, until the tears suddenly started pouring from his eyes. He covered his mouth, shoving his face into the pillow to try to stifle his loud sobbing. There was pain in his chest and he mentally told himself that he wanted to disappear, as if disappearing would make it all go away.

As the hours passed, Ivan had finally stopped crying. The clock read a few minutes passed 2am, and he was lying on his side, staring straight across from him at nothing but a white wall with little bumps all over it.

A knock at his door didn’t make him move much. He shifted his eyes to the door. “Come in,” he said just loud enough, and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see anyone then.

The door opened, then Ivan heard it close. He knew the person was in his room. He could feel a sense of someone watching him. Eventually it got too much for him to bear and he opened his eyes, shifting them to see who it was.

Being the last person Ivan thought he’d see standing there, Gilbert was watching him with those same dead eyes he had hours ago. Ivan sat up quickly, completely shocked from seeing him.

“Wh—what are you doing here…?” he asked dazedly.

Gilbert grit his teeth, his entire body seemed to fill with anger and sadness as his fists clenched tight at his sides. Tears immediately began flowing from his pink eyes, trickling down his cheeks.

“Idiot! Why did you just leave me back there!?” he shouted. His expression twisted into pain and anger.

“But you… you said you–”

“I didn’t want to do THIS anymore!” Gilbert covered his eyes with a forearm, trying to hide his tears again. “I’m sick of doing this every time I see you! I’m sick of getting fucked like it doesn’t mean anything!”

“Gilbert…” Ivan watched on sadly, not knowing what to say.

“No! Just shut up!” Gilbert demanded, his voice wavering from emotion. “We’ve been through a lot, not all of it good but we still got through it! Now all we do is sneak off and fuck whenever we see each other and that’s it! Well I can’t take it anymore! I can’t—” He coughed, wheezing a bit as his crying made his throat dry. “S-So, just tell me the truth… what is this to you? What am I to you…?”

Ivan’s eyes went wide. “What you are to me…?” he questioned, and Gilbert stared at him with bloodshot eyes waiting for an answer. ‘You’re everything to me…’ he thought.

“If I’m nothing but a way for you to get off, then I’ll stop coming to these meetings. I’ll tell Ludwig to leave me home.”

“You’re everything to me, Gilbert,” Ivan finally spoke, albeit quietly.

Gilbert looked shocked. “What…?”

“You’re everything to me,” Ivan repeated. “You mean the world to me. Every time I come to these meetings, I’m happy to see you, but whenever we’re done I feel empty.” Ivan looked down at his lap. “And when we’re intimate, I always try to kiss you and hold you to show you how much I care…”

“What are you saying…?” Gilbert asked.

Ivan glanced up to Gilbert. “… I love you.”

“… You…”

“I love you.” Ivan repeated more firmly but still sweetly. “I’ve loved you for years, but you always seemed to hate me. You didn’t even seem to care when you left and went back to Ludwig. But then at meetings we kept getting closer until we had sex again, then it became something we did every time, and I was happy because I got to be with you and hold you, but you were never really mine…”

Gilbert tried to process all of what Ivan was saying to him, but it made his heart pound and his head feel dizzy. Ivan saw that Gilbert’s body was starting to sway from side-to-side. Worried, Ivan got up and went to Gilbert. The albino flinched when Ivan held his hands.

“You look like you’re going to fall over. Come sit.” Ivan pulled hm to the bed, having him sit on it, then sat next to him. Gilbert looked like he was overheated, he was panting heavily and almost couldn’t catch his breath. Ivan took initiative and started removing Gilbert’s suit jacket. Surprisingly, Gilbert allowed it. Ivan tossed the jacket aside, then loosened Gilbert’s black tie and threw it with the jacket. He then reached for the top button of Gilbert’s white button-up, but Gilbert suddenly grabbed his wrist, looking frightful.

“I’m just trying to help you calm down, it’s not good to be restricted like this.” He started undoing the buttons with Gilbert’s thin fingers still around his wrist. Ivan only undid the top two buttons, fearing that Gilbert would think he was trying to do more if he undid more of them.

“I… don’t know what to think…” Gilbert said, letting his hand slip from Ivan’s.

“It’s fine, Gilbert. Just lay down and relax.” Like an obedient dog, Gilbert did so, letting Ivan help him rest down against the bed. Ivan covered him up to his waist with the blanket and sat up beside him, running his fingers through the white hair.

After a few minutes of silence, Gilbert suddenly wrapped one arm around Ivan’s waist and buried his face into his side. He was shaking and jolting every few seconds, trying to fight back more tears. Ivan felt horrible watching him, but wrapped his arms around the smaller male and held him close, shushing him quietly. Gilbert kept thinking about how Ivan said he loved him, and everything else he admitted to feeling. A lot of it shocked him, made him feel cared for, and of course loved. Being in Ivan’s presence again calmed him, and he shifted slightly.

Ivan was glad that Gilbert seemed to be relaxing. Carefully, he slid down so that he could lay beside Gilbert. The albino didn’t seem to mind at all and actually held onto him tighter. Ivan kissed into the white hair. He pondered speaking, but he couldn’t resist.

“Is it possible for you to be mine, Gilbert?” he asked quietly.

The albino looked up at him. “I don’t know… I—”

“Shh.” Ivan buried his nose into Gilbert’s hair. “I just want to know if you feel the same way, that’s all.”

Gilbert squeezed his eyes shut and nuzzled his head into Ivan’s chest. In truth, he returned Ivan’s feelings. He hadn’t realized that he loved Ivan until recently, but he always thought it’d never work between them. There was so much history, and he lived away from him.

Putting any negatives aside, Gilbert finally mumbled out, “I do…”

Ivan thought he misheard him, but he didn’t. He moved back, held Gilbert’s chin gently and had him look at him.

“You really mean it?” Gilbert gave a weak nod. “Say it then.”

Gilbert hesitated. “I love you…” The words gave Gilbert a fluttery feeling in his chest.

Ivan kissed him. Bringing their lips together in a soft, sweet kiss. It was a kiss that Ivan didn’t break for a while. He wanted to keep Gilbert in the kiss, like he was pouring himself into him. He pulled away eventually and admired the pretty blush on Gilbert’s cheeks. It had been a while since he’d seen a true blush on his face, and it was wonderful to see.

The Russian kissed the pale forehead. “We won’t do it anymore, I promise. From now on we’ll… we’ll just hang out.”

Gilbert looked at him. “As a couple?”

Ivan blinked. “Do you want to?” Gilbert nodded a little, and Ivan smiled. “Then we’ll be a couple… but, what about where you live? You’re so far away…”

“I could come out to see you for a few days at a time?” Gilbert suggested. “I know it’s not a lot, but…”

“It’s enough for me.” Ivan leaned down and kissed Gilbert’s jaw, slowly moving to his neck. For a moment Gilbert gave in and moaned quietly in his throat, but then he snapped out of it and pushed gently on Ivan’s shoulder.

“Wait, Ivan, I—”

Ivan pulled back. He saw Gilbert blushing. “What’s wrong?”

“I… don’t want to do it right now…”

Ivan smiled and kissed Gilbert’s cheek. “That’s okay, Gilbert. I wasn’t trying to do anything, I just wanted to kiss you anywhere I can.”

Gilbert returned the smile with a tiny crooked grin. “We’ll do it again, but just not tonight. I want to lay here with you instead.”

“How cute!” Ivan beamed and nuzzled Gilbert close. “You’re so adorable, and no one else knows how adorable you are but me… I’m glad.”

Gilbert blushed in embarrassment. “Be quiet…”

“No. I’m glad that you’re mine.” Ivan looked at him. “You’re mine, right? Only mine?”

Gilbert turned a darker red. “Yes, I’m yours… only yours…” He felt embarrassed to say the words.

“And no one else will ever have you. Promise? Even when you’re away from me?”

This time Gilbert kissed him, shocking Ivan a little to the point where he fell backward a bit. Ivan gave into the kiss, pressing back softly but let Gilbert control it. In that kiss Ivan knew what Gilbert was saying, and he knew that Gilbert was finally his. That fact made him feel so incredibly happy.

Gilbert moved back. “There’s another meeting tomorrow… can you keep this a secret for now?”

Ivan nodded. “I’ve never told a soul about what we do anyway.”

“Good. I want to talk to Ludwig alone first, and I’d rather not have everyone else in the same room flipping out about us.”

“That’s acceptable… but will you still stay with me for the rest of the time we’re here?”

“Yeah, I’ll stay.”

Ivan wrapped his arms around Gilbert’s waist, holding him close and nuzzling his face into Gilbert’s chest. He was so happy to hear Gilbert say he’d stay with him. It was all he’d ever wanted, was for Gilbert to be with him, and he finally had it. He heard the words and saw Gilbert’s expression. There was no maybe about it. Gilbert was his, and Ivan would never let him go. He’d love him and adore him until his very last day. He’d hold him every night if he could, but at least it was a start.

Gilbert smiled down at Ivan. He felt so drained of energy from crying and getting so emotional, that now once everything was calm and worked out, he couldn’t help but smile at him. Having Ivan in his arms, hugging around him so tightly, made him remember the days when he lived with Ivan. The situation was the same, but neither of them ever admitted to how they felt. He wondered what would have happened back then if he did admit his feelings, how much time he could have saved, but he shook those possibilities from his head. All that mattered was that he had Ivan in his arms, stroking his hair, and holding him close. All that mattered was that Gilbert belonged to him.


End file.
